Artvoice has released their 2010 “Best of Buffalo” ballot and I’d like to advocate for a few choices, primarily categories in which I might feasibly be considered a candidate, like Best Local Blogger, Most Awesome Guy You Know, Guy You Wished Was Running Shit, or Guy Most Likely To Be Godfather To Your First Born.

Anyhow, here comes 900 words about all of that.  Print it out and read it during your morning constitution.

Now, if this was BuffaloPundit’s blog, he’d ironically beg you to vote for him, post a picture of a LOLcat and then bury the post underneath an interminable pile of car reviews and half baked posts based on things he heard from me or articles he cribbed from Andrew Sullivan’s blog.  He’s too embarrassed to ask you for your vote directly, because he knows he doesn’t deserve it.

However, this is my blog and I will straight up ask you for your vote.  After reading this post, you’ll immediately wish these thoughts were your own.  So, in that way, you’ll know what it feels like to be BuffaloPundit.

I have an uphill battle ahead of me if I seek to unseat the Pundit and his voluminous sack of mediocre posts from his cushy “Best Blogger” throne.  As in years past, Pundit has retained the services of election fixer extraordinaire and fabulous swinger, Roger Stone in order to disenfranchise the overseas military vote, absentee ballots from nursing homes, BryLin, and our urban core (I’m HUGE with elderly drug addicts and people who hate Clarence).  That is the only viable explanation as to how Alan’s blog has consistently pulled in more votes in previous years.

Sure, this blog goes silent at times while I volunteer for political candidates, report on stories that Pundit recaps for you, serve on charitable boards, and work with establishment media outlets to fix their product all while steering the massive FAILBOAT that graciously hosts the blog of BuffaloPundit’s written meanderings.  Sure, he’s putting out multiple 30 word recaps of news articles replete with ironic pictures.  However, I let posts ferment in my mental mixture of genius and sarcasm before unleashing them on the world.  In the end, this comes down to the age old quandary of Quantity vs. Quality.

Let’s get to the facts about Pundit.

- BuffaloPundit despises Beef on Weck, Mighty Taco, Buffalo Pizza, Labatt Blue, the Buffalo Bills, and the Buffalo Sabres.  I don’t think he even really likes Chicken Wings.  Is this the kind of man you want representing Buffalo?  I think not.

- BuffaloPundit once actively campaigned for Jack Davis.

- BuffaloPundit and the Little Bit O’ Luck Guy; you’ve never seen them in the same place, have you?

- Exit polls from the 2009 Artvoice vote indicate that 7 out of 10 BuffaloPundit voters were, in fact, dicks.

- BuffaloPundit thinks Josh Boose is a good reporter and believes Eddie Egriu is a misunderstood genius.

- BuffaloPundit once offered me a seat at a press conference in exchange for a lap dance.  I felt dirty.

There’s more, and you can get in on the fun by following the #punditfacts hashtag on Twitter.

If you want to know more about me, well, you can just about ask anyone you meet and they’ll tell you that I am the Team Captain of The Fucking Awesomes, a local brigade of literati influencing a better world.

- I am opposed to the human trafficking of midgets.  Pundit has remained silent on this issue.  Why?  What is he hiding?

- I despise carnies, gypsies, and pederasts.  Pundit has not yet announced his position.

- I am opposed to intra-office ticklefests, Jim Ostrowski and Rus Thompson’s sweaters.

- I’ve been in a Turkish prison, twice.

- I think my site is well-written, thoughtful, and strikes the right tone of condescension, derision, snark and genius.  I don’t go a day without reading it or checking out the stream of superlative links in the Daily Homework section, that’s for sure.

I’d also like to point out some other blogs I like to read.  That way, if you think I’m a condescending douche and you think Pundit is a big jerk, you’ll have another voting option.

The Goose’s Roost – Best sports blog of 2010, hands down.  These guys are still college age, so they stay up around the clock, watching games you would never bother to watch because it’s 3AM and you’ve got a job.  I find their writing to be witty, informed and well-researched.  It gets better every month.

Byzantium Shores – Kelly Sedinger is one of my most regular reads.  I really look forward to his posts, event though I share very few interests with him.  He’s a big fan of science fiction novels/movies and a plethora of other things that I don’t really care about.  That’s not meant to be dismissive by any means.  I think it says something about his skill as a writer that he makes those things interesting for me while I am reading his blog and I’ve learned quite a few things reading his musings.  He’s really that talented.

The Amazing Adventures of jen14221 – Best Personal Blog of 2010.  I generally hate personal blogs, but Jen is funny, cool, misanthropic and honest.  She’s kind of like a female Larry David with 100% less Jew and 70% more hair.  Also, boobs.

Brian Castner of WNYMedia – Brian is a bright and interesting guy who moved back to Buffalo a few years ago.  He spends a lot of time on the road and brings us posts comparing Buffalo to the cities he visits, which gives us some much-needed perspective on local issues.  We disagree frequently on issues of politics and government, but he’s a quality read and the best addition to WNYMedia in years.  If you’re not reading his blog, you should be.

Also please check out the “Related Posts” below for a sample of my year long odyssey of excellence.

Happy Voting!

*also, for those of you didn’t notice, this is all in good fun.  Alan is a great guy, talented blogger and a close friend.